The Incredibly Suckish thing called a High School
by animechickluvsmcr
Summary: Sasuke just got his first teaching job. And he got the demon student from hell in his already hellish class. His name: Uzumaki Naruto. But what happens when things start to heat up between these two, outside of the classroom?
1. First Day

A/N: Hey everybody!!! This is the first series I'm gonna write on fanfiction. Since you've already seen this title if you've clicked on it, I won't bother you with trivial detail. I'm gonna also be writing another series called "The Sword may be Mightier than the Pen but what about the Paintbrush?" Ok so I won't bore you with any more boring details. I'll move onto the disclaimer then get on with the story. Onward!

**Disclaimer: **Me no own Naruto. Currently am trying to save money so can own, at least in plushy form.

**The Incredibly Suckish thing called a High School Relationship**

It was the first day of school. Children were getting up, woken by the dawn chorus or the sounds of their parents lovingly calling them down to breakfast. All except one. 16-year-old Uzumaki Naruto woke up to this:

"_GOMEN NE sunao ja nakute_

_yume no naka nara ieru_

_shikou kairo wa SHO-TO sunzen_

_ima sugu aitai yo_

_nakitaku naru you na moonlight_

_denwa mo dekinai midnight_

_datte junjou doushiyou_

_HA-TO wa mangekyou"_

Uzumaki Naruto glanced sat his alarm clock. Within in a 10 square kilometre distance the children who had not woken up yet, and those who were, woke up to this"

"OH SHIT!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA BE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And they knew the school year had officially begun.

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22-year-old Uchiha Sasuke was enjoying a peaceful rest. At least he **had **been until the loud screams of someone yelling that they were going to be late. The youthfulness of the voice caused him to believe it was a high school student. And the fact that there were no more schools out there caused him to believe that whoever it was was a student of Konaha Private School, the school he was due to begin teaching at soon. 'Please Kami-sama' Sasuke prayed, 'Let me not be teaching **this **kid.' Sasuke rolled over at looked at his alarm clock. "6:15," it glared back at him. "Oh just _wonderful_," Sasuke muttered to himself, "Oh well, might as well get up." And Sasuke Uchiha, very reluctantly, got up to greet the day.

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Naruto ran to class, barely getting there by the late bell rang. Although, his school began at the 7:45 and he had woken up at 6:15, and living only a 20-minute walk away from the school, he still managed to be late by almost 15 minutes. He had just _known _it would be a bad morning. First he realized that alarm clock was saying 6:15 instead of 8:15 like his sleep-filled eyes had previously told him. _Then _he thought he would have plenty of time to get ready so he rolled over and went back to sleep (after hitting the snooze button many, many times). He slept in till 7 fuckin' 25!!! 'This was not a good morning,' Naruto though as he sat down, 'Oh well, at least it can't get much worse. Naruto was wrong, it was about to get much, much worse. At the moment he sat down, the teacher came in. He was new.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Sasuke cursed silently under his breath as he headed to his new class. He was not in a good mood. Teacher staff meetings, which he had loved when he was a student, had suddenly become the bane of his existence. 'How long could the damn things go on for?!' he wondered. And they kept droning on the same things for so long he'd even seen the principal, Tsunade, stifling a yawn. He promised to himself that, if he ever found a way to, he'd go back in time and make his younger self be kind to the teachers and actually pay attention in their classes instead of going about in his usual "I-don't-give-a-damn" way. At least it was over now. Uchiha Sasuke stopped with his hand on the doorknob and sighed. 'What the hell ever possessed me to become a teacher?' he thought 'Now I have to deal with _teenage _brats every day for the next 43 years. Oh well, at least none of them could be worse than I was." Sasuke opened the door an stepped into the classroom. He was about to find out how wrong he could be.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Naruto stopped talking to his friend Kiba and looked up as soon as he heard the click of the door opening as did everyone else in the class. This was the only day that the class of 3A were ever quiet. The teacher would be very glad of this, this would be his only memory of them being quiet. On a bad day the sound level of the class was approximately 325db. He'd have an even warmer memory than other teachers though. They were being especially quiet since this was a new teacher and **everyone **was curious about him. There had been a rumour going around last term that there was going to be a new teacher. Everyone had dismissed the rumour until the previous teacher, Hatake Kakashi, announced that he would be retiring from being a form teacher and going back to being a plain old Biology teacher. He'd also said that this would be a great experience for the new teacher, this would give him some backbone, teaching the worst class ever as his first class. 3A was excited, this the first time they would have a completely new teacher, and like child with a new toy, they were eager to play with him, test his limits, and see how easily he could be broken. Their new teacher stepped into the classroom.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Sasuke stepped into the classroom and felt like a nervous rabbit cornered by a pack of wolverines. It was the way they looked at him, like they were trying to figure out how much fun they could have playing with him before they tore him to shreds. 'Calm down Sasuke,' he thought to himself, 'Their just high school students. A few years ago you were one of them.' He suddenly felt bad for his teachers if he had looked at them like _that_. He mentally shook himself and said,"Hello students, my name is Uchiha Sasuke and I'm your new teacher." Instead of the chorus of "Good morning Uchiha-sensei"'s he'd been hoping for, his new students looked at each other as if they were electing someone to be the first to torture him (they were). Suddenly they all looked at him, with evil smiles on their faces. A blond-haired, cerulean-eyed boy spoke up. He had a voice exactly like the voice that had woken up Sasuke that morning. Kami-sama is cruel.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Naruto and his class-mates looked around at each other. By a silent agreement they picked one student every new semester to test out the limits of the new teacher. This year it looked like he had been chosen. The class turned to the teacher and settled down to see what Naruto would start with. First, Naruto assessed his teacher. He was good-looking Naruto had to admit. Raven hair, obsidian eyes, pale skin, skinny yet muscular. Appearances could be deceiving though. He thought, with a shudder, of Anko-sensei from last year. Having her gave them scars that would never heal. The new teacher didn't look very tough though, maybe it was the way he had frozen for a moment when he had first entered the classroom, or the way his voice had shook when he had announced his name to the class. Whatever it was, Naruto felt disappointed. He'd hoped his first ever _completely _new teacher would be tougher to break. 'Oh well,' Naruto thought. And he started.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Sasuke was terrified. Usually nothing scares him. When that gang had come after him one day? Whatever. When his thousands of fangirls chased after him? Nothing. Now? He'd rather be in a jungle somewhere, being eaten _alive_ by cannibals. "Yo teach," the blonde haired boy asked. The boy spoke the same way _he _had spoke to his teachers, with the same tone that made it quite clear that before they had been putting up with him quite nicely, but now it was time for some fun.

"Yes, um?"

"Uzumaki Naruto," the boy replied. Sasuke shuddered. They warned him about this boy. Actually they had warned him about the whole class of 3A but they had warned him about Uzumaki Naruto the most.

"Yes Uzumaki-san?"

"This is your first time teaching, right?" Naruto leaned forward over his desk and propped his chin in his hand.

"Yes." Sasuke was afraid of where Naruto was going with this.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No." Sasuke wondered what had prompted Naruto to start this little share session. He was scared to find out.

"So do little girls not turn you on? Only teenage ones? Or is it boys? Maybe-"

"Nani?!" Sasuke shouted, cutting Naruto off. Now he was just angry. Still a little frightened, but mainly angry. "Ok, since this is first day I'll forgive this little misdemeanour, but if you _ever _even suggest something like that again, I will personally make sure the rest of your days in my class are filled with misery and sorrow!" (Wow, Sasuke's acting really bitchy now. I wonder if it's that time of month?). Naruto didn't even a bat an eyelid.

"Sure teach," he said an leaned back in his seat with his hands behind his head. He looked as if, though Sasuke had delivered a threat which in high school would've made his enemies quake in fear, he had won. Sasuke shuddered again. 'And I still have this kid for Math and English,' he thought, 'High school a second time, **definitely **not fun.'

**End of Chapter 1**

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End A/N: Yep, so how'd you like it? And if think I'm perverted for pairing a 16 going on 17 year old with a 22 year old remember, I was doing to make it 15 going on 16 in the beginning. Naruto's alarm clock is playing the Sailor Moon first opening theme. English translation is:_ I'm sorry I'm not candid. I can say it if in my dreams. My thoughts are about to short circuit. I want to see you right now! I'm just about to cry – moonlight I can't call you, either – midnight. But I have a simple heart, so what can I do? My heart is a kaleidoscope_. I think you might be able to guess why I chose this one for him. So yeah, am planning two one-shot songfics and the story I mentioned in the beginning. A girl I know said that she heard that all boys are bisexual cuz they have a giving end and a receiving ^_^! And remember, My Chemical Romance is an important part of the creative process!


	2. Lunch

**A/N: **So I finally get the chance to work on chapter. Thanks for all those people who added my story to their alerts. It always helps that someone might be very annoyed if you only update once in a blue moon. So enough chatting, Onward! Oh and I need suggestions for a sexually abusive character. See my profile for who not to suggest.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. Too tired to come up with something funny

* * *

**The Incredibly Suckish thing called a High School Relationship**

**-L-u-n-c-h-**

"Hey Naruto! Kiba!" called out Chouji as they walked up to him, Shikamaru, Gaara, Sai and Neji on the way to their usual spot.

"How was the new teacher?," Chouji continued Did he run out of the room screaming and tearing his hair out till the big, strong men with the big needle came and carted him out to the nuthouse?"

"No, not yet" Kiba laughed.

"Hey where's Ino, Sakura and Lee?" Shikamaru asked, finally noting the absence of the other members of their group.

"Oh they'll be around later," Naruto said in that mysterious way that spelt trouble for any target within a five mile radius.

The other boys who weren't in on the plan couldn't wait to see what was going to happen.

**-With-S-a-k-u-r-a-,-L-e-e-a-n-d-I-n-o-**

"Shh!" Sakura said as Lee, for about the hundredth time, knocked over something. "Do you want to get us caught?!" she whisper-yelled. They were in the teacher's staffroom, specifically their Form teacher's staffroom looking for his desk. They were supposed to put in some package that Naruto had given them into it. Since this was Naruto who had given them the package they were making sure of two things. One they handled the package with care so whatever was in it didn't happen to them and so that Naruto wouldn't kill them and Two, that they were did it quickly, so that they could eat while watching the wonderful, although not so wonderful for their teacher, results.

"Sorry," Lee whispered back.

"He, what's in the package anyway?" Ino asked.

"Dunno," Sakura replied, "Yes! This must be his!"

"Why?" Lee asked.

"Cuz it has stuff with his name on it." Sakura answered and focused on her task. She couldn't even think of failing in her task, for fear of the mortal danger it would present. She gently placed it in the exact middle of the desk and stepped to admire her work. She had no idea why Naruto had told her to put it in the exact middle of the desk, but she didn't question fearless leader's wisdom. She knew what happened when someone didn't follow his instructions. It wasn't what he'd do to you, it was whatever he'd given you instructions about that would hurt you. Ino and Lee also admired the perfection of it.

"Now what do we do?" Lee asked after a while.

"Now we run like hell," Sakura answered, "cuz I hear the Principal's footsteps coming down the hall."

**-W-h-e-n-T-s-u-n-a-d-e-e-n-t-e-r-e-d-**

"Hmm, looks like some of your students were here Uchiha," Tsunade said to the new teacher, who had been begging her for a transfer to teach another class from almost as soon as he "surreptitiously" sidled up to her as she was walking down to the teacher's staffroom.

"Really?" asked Sasuke, pausing for a moment in his grovelling to look around. "How do you know?"

"Well, first of all I heard voices as we were walking down the hall, secondly I don't think that window was open before and finally, I don't think you would wrap your lunch in a parcel." Tsunade explained

"I wonder what they are planning?" Sasuke wondered.

"Oh I'm sure it's nothing," Tsunade replied. 'I doubt that,' she thought.

"I might as well open it," Sasuke said, and with no regard for personal safety, opened the package.

"Oh cookies!" Sasuke exclaimed, "And a card! It's from that Uzumaki kid, it says he's sorry! Looks like I might no need that transfer after all."

"I told you it was nothing, Tsunade said, patting his shoulder. 'Poor, naïve child.' She started walking out of the staffroom.

"I thought you were going to eat in here?" Sasuke called to her as she left.

"I just remembered I have some work have to catch up on," Tsunade replied. 'Or I'm afraid of the fireworks. That Uzumaki kid was born in the wrong century, they would have loved to have him in the Spanish Inquisition"

**-W-i-t-h-N-a-r-u-t-o-,-S-a-k-u-r-a-K-i-b-a-a-n-d-t-h-e-m-**

"Are you sure they're coming?" Neji asked Naruto. It had been had 10 minutes since they had gotten to their usual spot, a place on the school grounds, upriver from the lake, at the source of one of the tributaries that branched into the main river. They, excluding Naruto, were worried. Sakura was extremely good at stealth and so was Ino, as they all had learned the hard way. Sure Lee, who was uncontrollable at the best of times, was with them but they were so good that that should make up for it right? But hat if it hadn't at Tsunade had caught them or-

"Hey you guys! Why couldn't you wait for us?!" a familiar voice that belonged to their pink-haired friend rang through trees.

"Yeah!" the voice of her blonde friend agreed.

"Because we go tired of waiting for you," Naruto tossed back.

"Liar!" Sakura yelled indignantly, "You didn't wait for us at all!"

"So?" Naruto asked cheekily. He should have known better. Lucky for him, she didn't him so hard and there was mud, instead of rock, at the bottom of this particular tributary.

"So how was the first day for you guys?" Sakura asked sitting down. The other boys looked away from the tributary and turned to face her.

"All right," Shikamaru replied.

"Not you," Sakura said, "Chouji. The rest of you barely give me monosyllables on a good day. Besides you all are in the same class so I only need one answer."

"It was pretty good," Chouji answered, "We got Asuma-sensei as our class teacher and Anko-sensei is our English teacher so we have to be careful. I miss our last teacher, she didn't really care weather or not we handed up our assignments on time. We got a good Math teacher to make up for it though..." and so Chouji went on while his companions ate until one of them said,

"Naruto has been under an awfully long time hasn't he?"

"Yeah he has," Sakura observed. The friends were suddenly filled with worry for their friend and looked toward the river and saw...

... a note propped up against a medium-sized rock.

"Dear guys, "they read in unison, "By the time you read this note it will be almost time for the fireworks. Hurry back. Signed the Number-one Knucklehead." They immediately forgot about their lunches, except Chouji who ate as he ran, and started and started running at Usain Bolt-like speed back toward the school.

"What do you think will happen?" Lee asked

"I don't know...." Ino replied

"......but I can't wait to find out," Sakura finished.

And the rest of the group agreed and increased their speed. After all, no one wants to miss the first prank of the year.

**-W-i-t-h-N-a-r-u-t-o-**

Naruto checked the time on his watch. It was almost time for the fireworks to begin. And judging from the disturbance in the forest his friends would arrive just in time. He always did like an audience. It would begin in 5..4..3..2..1!

* * *

**End A/N: **Hah! Feel the suspense...Feel it!!! Sorry it's so late. Don't expect quick updates on any of my other stories. Stupid French homework. At least school has finished. Go to my profile to get the link to my DA profile to read my journal about my last day of school. I did possibly illegal things. And everyone, pray that Obama does not get injured in is time in my country, Pray! If you are an atheist who likes Obama become a believer just for a minute I love the Slumdog Millionare ending song. Watch it, and Charlie the unicorn. Poor Charlie, they keep taking from him. This school is almost as rich as Utena's.


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